Crashed America – Free eBook

Crashed America by Dylan Malik Orchard Novel

Another book going out for free today – Crashed America, my first novel. Available in a variety of formats or you can grab the physical copy here. As always if you enjoy it, share it and review it – you can also donate direct to me here if you’re feeling an over-abundance of love.

When Joe sets off for those United States of America he has a whole Crashed America by Dylan Malik Orchard Novellist of plans, dreams, schemes and delusions to be lived out against an idealised Americana backdrop. Killing Jesus isn’t exactly among them but, as ever, life does its own thing.

After crashing in Alabama Joe finds himself caught up in the prelude to the End of Days, with the Devil on one side, a Hillbilly clan on the other and the whole spectrum of crazy in between – from a Satanic Reagan to good old boys Waco and ET. None of which makes any sense to him, or his new found companion the born again atheist Father Fitzpatrick but with enough moonshine, guns, nuns, demons and backwoods mysticism he might just make it through. Although the rest of the world might not.

Crashed America PDF

Crashed America EPUB

Crashed America MOBI

You can also buy the paperback copy here.

No Cure for Shell Shock – Free eBook

No Cure for Shell Shock Cover

To start with the good bit – my collection of poetry and prose, No Cure for Shell Shock, is available as a free download if you just click below.

No Cure for Shell Shock (PDF)

No Cure for Shell Shock is intended as the antithesis to the war story. Each part of this collection of poetry and short pieces was designed to search for those lost, silent moments which shape the human experience of conflict but which are left unmarked and uncommented on in the aftermath.

Anti-war by intent the focus throughout is on the human, attempting to find the self that endures beyond comprehension and judgement.

I’ve decided to make it free, for now, because I honestly just wanted to give something away. It’s easy to get lost in the grind of writing when it’s so often overshadowed by the hyper-mercenary ‘creative industry’. You start to myopically focus all your attentions on becoming part of it, or generating enough cash to validate your work. Truth is though writing is writing, it might be tossed about and effected by the society it takes place in, but the joy of it is in the work itself, not in how it’s framed. Being able to just share something, share a set of thoughts and ideas I felt were important as I wrote them, is a nice break from that mentality and a minor rebellion against it. Plus you get a free book, so it’s nice all round.

To contradict that spirit a bit though – I’m not averse to money and I’m sure as hell not rich. So if you fancy chipping in to support my meagre lifestyle then you can also buy NCfSS as a paperback here. Or you can grab any of my other work of course. Plus you can donate with the button below, if you’re feeling overly rich and generous.

Dylan's Donate Button

You can also support me without spending a penny by recommending or reviewing my work on your platform of choice, it’s always appreciated.

For now though- enjoy.

– Dylan

Side note: I’ve made it available as a .pdf to start with as most devices can read them without problems. Plus, given that it’s a mix of poetry and prose, it’s hard to convert it into an epub (or similar) format without messing with the structure. If you don’t care about that and just want the words then I recommend Calibre for all your file conversion needs. Also, if you’re reading it on a phone or mobile device, Aldiko is a good ereader app – like Calibre it’s free.

YouSir – Hostile Takeover EP

Just a little something I made years and years ago. Recently disappeared from the internet as the site it was on culled their archives, so here it is again on Band Camp. It was a labour of love, although possibly not much talent but I’m still happy to have it out there. And it’s free to stream/download so feel free to have a listen. Electronic noodlings.

Crashed America Giveaway

Crashed America by Dylan Malik Orchard

3/3/2015 – Sorry if you missed out but the offer has now expired. You can however buy Crashed America here. And by ‘can’ I mean ‘absolutely should’…

As we’re edging ever closer to the one year anniversary of my first Indie release (Laikanist Times) I figured now would be a good time to, erm, give away something completely different. So for the next week (until March 3rd) Crashed America is available for absolutely nothing in epub and mobi formats. Yes for the bargain basement price of £0.00 you can grab yourself your very own slice of literary history. Quite a small slice I’ll grant you but still it’s better than a kick in the teeth.

The one small caveat is that you have to sign up to my newsletter so I can sell all of your details to a Chinese supplier of, what I’m reliably informed, is the most top grade Viagra this side of the Great Wall. Or alternatively I may just send you an e-mail once a month or so reminding you that I exist and letting you know if there’s anything new going on. Like a needy ex who just can’t stop themselves from drunkenly texting at 3am talking about the good ol’ days.

In fact it will almost certainly, positively, absolutely be the latter. Trust me, I wouldn’t know how to sell your details even if I didn’t love each and every one of you (baby, we can make it work, I’ve changed etc.) Plus you can always unsubscribe the second you’ve got your grubby hands on your freebie even if it will break my heart just that little bit more.

So fill out the form below, it’ll send you an e-mail, you hit the confirmation, it sends you to a page, you download a book and we’ll say no more about it eh?

When Joe sets off for those United States of America he has a whole list of plans, dreams, schemes and delusions to be lived out against an idealised Americana backdrop. Killing Jesus isn’t exactly among them but, as ever, life does its own thing. 


If a mobi or epub doesn’t work for you, prima donna that you are, then drop me a line via the Contact page with your preferred format and I’ll see what I can do. Be sure to sign up to the newsletter first though.

We wanna be free, free to read Laikanist Times…


It’s taken some time and it’s taken some thought and it’s taken a fair amount of procrastination and dithering but as of now Laikanist Times is permafree. To be read, shared and, erm, declared (?) by anyone who clicks ‘download’.

My initial plan was to put a token price on it, in an attempt to get an idea of how the whole spectrum of Indie publishing works. But after a few hundred downloads (on the free promo) I sat back and realised that having those few hundred people read (or at least have) my work was a big enough step to take in itself. Plus, unsurprisingly, getting people to part with their hard earned pennies for an unknown and unrated author smells like an impossible task, even before I started trying to do it. It also fuelled a shift in thinking from trying to sell a book, to trying to build something bigger than one thing. After all, Crashed America is already written and ready to go and there’s plenty more to come so for now I just want to share as much as I can with as many people as I can, rather than be a salesman faced with an almost vertical challenge. Which is no fun at all.

Anyway, to the good bit, I’ve added Laikanist Times to Smashwords where’s it’s already available for free download and in coming days that should extend to Nook, Kobo and any other site which pedals in literary genius. It’s also available for free on this site if you look over here.

And why should you download it? Because your life is at least 0.00152% worse for not doing so – and that could make all the difference. You only regret the things you didn’t do as they say, and wouldn’t it be a kicker to look up from your death bed, a bright white light hovering before you and think ‘damn, too late to grab that novella now’? Of course that’s a pretty ridiculous saying, especially if the things you do include taking a load of crack and whoring yourself out to truckers while losing your job and family all to pay for more of that sweet sweet rock. But I can 99% guarantee that reading Laikanist Times won’t leave you toothless, emaciated and on your knees servicing Billy Bob on his run out of Podunk, Ohio for five bucks on a rainy night. Just don’t hold me accountable for that remaining 1%.


Due to Amazon having a beef with permafree books it’s still listed there at .99¢ – there is a workaround for this which relies on price matching from other sites and I will be getting it sorted as soon as their systems let me. Although if you have an account there and fancy pointing them towards the Smashwords page to help make them change their ways then please do so.