Laikanist Times

Another day another obligatory plug for the splendiferous ‘Laikanist Times’ – enlightenment in novella form and still available for free here.

Laikanist Times was an odd one. Written in fits and starts through times of excess, confusion and random travelling which bordered on self abuse it came out as the apple of my eye. Not to everyone’s taste, I’ve since discovered, as is often the case at the strange and surreal end of things, but still something I’m proud of.

It’s long since broken through the 1,000 download mark, which I always thought was quite an impressive number and by now it should be closing in on 2,000 although I make a duty of not checking how well anything I’ve written is doing for fear of actually finding out. And rough and ready though it remains it’ll always have a little corner of my heart trapped in its doggy jaws. For something that came out so strange and disjointed it’s still probably the most immediate and ‘easy’ thing I’ve ever written, fuelled as it was by nothing more abstract than my own desire to sit down and flood words on to the screen.

Anyway, download it.

In the jungle, the mighty jungle…

… my novella’s free tonight. Amazon have finally caught up with my own largesse and made Laikanist Times permafree on both their US and UK sites. Same should apply to the rest of the world of course but if it doesn’t then give it a week or so and the change should filter through.

Be sure to post a review if you enjoy – they’re like crack for unknown authors and by that I mean I will stab you if you short me.

And, of course, Crashed America is still out and available.

iCame, iSaw, iTunes

I once used a Ouiji board to get in touch with Steve Jobs and tell him that I thought his products were vastly overrated, his distribution system overly controlling and his company greedy and lawsuit happy. As an act of revenge he made me drop my Android phone and crack the screen, so basically fuck that guy. But as someone once said, times change, tough men don’t and having checked that I’m not a tough man I may have to adjust my thinking. Especially as Laikanist Times is now available via Apple’s ebook service. Download it now before the vengeful spirit of Steve Jobs decides to remove it! And then review it, in the hope of appeasing him.

Take a bite from the Apple

I’ve been everywhere, man

Cake-1Well, I’ve been to a lot of places at least but not as many as Laikanist Times is starting to go to. It’s now available for free on both Scribd and Barnes & Noble (as well as Smashwords and this site). Still waiting for Amazon to adjust the price to free and the only way to get them to speed the process up is to go to the book page and hit the option to ‘tell us about a lower price’ below the product info. Copy in the link to Smashwords and with any luck they’ll do their price match thing. A far from convenient workaround but such is the way of things. And if you could help out it’d be much appreciated.

Also much appreciated are reviews, whether they’re on Amazon, Goodreads, Smashwords, the back of a beer mat, a sleeping childs face – whenever, wherever it’s all good. Unless it’s bad of course, in which case screw you. Anyway, updates to follow when Amazon gets sorted.


Barnes & Noble (Nook)

We wanna be free, free to read Laikanist Times…


It’s taken some time and it’s taken some thought and it’s taken a fair amount of procrastination and dithering but as of now Laikanist Times is permafree. To be read, shared and, erm, declared (?) by anyone who clicks ‘download’.

My initial plan was to put a token price on it, in an attempt to get an idea of how the whole spectrum of Indie publishing works. But after a few hundred downloads (on the free promo) I sat back and realised that having those few hundred people read (or at least have) my work was a big enough step to take in itself. Plus, unsurprisingly, getting people to part with their hard earned pennies for an unknown and unrated author smells like an impossible task, even before I started trying to do it. It also fuelled a shift in thinking from trying to sell a book, to trying to build something bigger than one thing. After all, Crashed America is already written and ready to go and there’s plenty more to come so for now I just want to share as much as I can with as many people as I can, rather than be a salesman faced with an almost vertical challenge. Which is no fun at all.

Anyway, to the good bit, I’ve added Laikanist Times to Smashwords where’s it’s already available for free download and in coming days that should extend to Nook, Kobo and any other site which pedals in literary genius. It’s also available for free on this site if you look over here.

And why should you download it? Because your life is at least 0.00152% worse for not doing so – and that could make all the difference. You only regret the things you didn’t do as they say, and wouldn’t it be a kicker to look up from your death bed, a bright white light hovering before you and think ‘damn, too late to grab that novella now’? Of course that’s a pretty ridiculous saying, especially if the things you do include taking a load of crack and whoring yourself out to truckers while losing your job and family all to pay for more of that sweet sweet rock. But I can 99% guarantee that reading Laikanist Times won’t leave you toothless, emaciated and on your knees servicing Billy Bob on his run out of Podunk, Ohio for five bucks on a rainy night. Just don’t hold me accountable for that remaining 1%.


Due to Amazon having a beef with permafree books it’s still listed there at .99¢ – there is a workaround for this which relies on price matching from other sites and I will be getting it sorted as soon as their systems let me. Although if you have an account there and fancy pointing them towards the Smashwords page to help make them change their ways then please do so.