Laikanist Times by Dylan Malik Orchard

Laikanist Times

And there, on the hill, stood a shoddy figure. Oddly resplendent in the tattered remains of a dog costume they pointed nervously to the sky and let out an almighty roar. Their words echoed across the barren landscape and they were ‘LAIKANIST TIMES, THEY COME!’ And the world did tremble… – First book of Laika.

An acid test, unfortunately without the acid. An experiment with no fixed goal or purpose. A novella released just to see what would happen.

I’ve decided to unleash Laikanist Times, my new novella on Amazon. Crashed America is still on its way but as a precursor I wanted to test the online waters and see how things go. Somehow that’s easier to do with 35,000 words and talking animals than something full length.

To mark the occasion I’ve made it available for free until midnight this Sunday (16th of March) so grab it while you can because after that it’ll be back to the low low low price of £1.53. Which is a bit of an odd number but that’s VAT for you.

The biggest issue with releasing anything, from music to novels to art is getting the word out there. Very bad things can flourish because the people behind them are excellent at marketing and very good things can fail because they’re not so I’ll throw out a universal plea for you to share it, if you like it. Or even if you don’t. Every new reader is a blessing and sends me into raptures of joy – at some point I’ll probably even start talking in tongues if it gets around enough.

I’ll be spamming the hell out of the internet for the next few weeks to try and get the word out so expect to hear a lot more but for now here’s the link – have at it…


Laikanist Times is the story of one planet divided by a few million years and a fistful of species divides. While the Bald Chimps are seeing apparitions and finding God (or possibly Dog) the dogs are indulging in some quantum meddling and the humans? Well, they had their time.

Rex the Bulldog sets out to change the world, for better or worse, Gdunk the Chimp aims for the stars, Yessa aims to be left alone and Raeget and Kaisabosen aim for, well, something probably. All alongside a host of characters including the good, the bad and the ugly with Jinx and the Four-Leggers, the Laikanists, the Whippet Brotherhood and the Great Salmonists each doing their best to ignore what they need to and find what they want. And all the while Laika the Space Dog is doing something, or not, depending on your point of view.

Laikanist Times is a strange and surrealist parable on the wonders and woes of religion, science, belief and talking animals. As the first novella from Dylan Malik Orchard it’s less a declaration of intent and more a declaration of confusion. With the answers to none of your questions and a slew of doubts to introduce. Humour, farce, satire, sloths and Sci-Fi are mixed together in a heady literary brew*.

*’heady literary brew’ may or may not actually mean anything.

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